Jim Pevensey was by no means a man who stood out in the crowd. He did his best to remain mostly unnoticed in most social situations. At the local grocer he maintained his routine of going at times he knew fewer people would be out and about so as to get his shopping done privately, and whenever possible he took back roads and little forgotten routes to face as little traffic as possible.
He was a quiet man, liking a simple life and seeking simple pleasures such as sitting on his back porch and reading quietly, or going for walks by quiet brooks in the park. He often sought escape from the stresses of the noisy world in comedy series on his small television as well, finding solace from distressing memories of his younger years in the nonsensical exploits of animated rabbits, and angry ducks.
Although Jim led a quiet life of a predictable routine, of late he'd begun to tire of it and long for more than this dull repetition. Deep down Jim was a dreamer and always hoped there'd be more to his life than a boring routine of an excited youth who had slowly eased into a bland adulthood like a well worn, brown easy chair in your grandmother's sitting room.
Jim was sure, first of all, that he would have had a spectacularly beautiful and exciting companion by now, and yet he lived alone in a small flat that never looked like it sat straight up and down. Jim liked to compare this to the leaning tower of Pisa, but in truth, it really wasn't worth noting, and it mostly just played on people's sanity.
Jim longed to be traveling the world and translating his adventures into fairy tales in his own novel. Instead, Jim worked for a dilapidated university in the internet technology office. The building that Jim's IT office was in was a large, drab brick that some giant had carved offices and classrooms inside of. The structure sat in the middle of a concrete lot so as to remove it as far from nature and greenery as possible.
Deep in the inner recesses of this box, far from the world's light and life was Jim's IT office. And deep in the center of that, in a dimly lit, stuffy closet was Jim's daily station. In ways he liked the isolation so he didn't have to endure the raised voices of people disagreeing with one another about politics. But it also left Jim feeling like a ghost, separated from the land of the living and the world of neon wildlife.
WIP
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Bears
#2
An Interesting Fact About It:
There are only eight species of bears, but they have a wide range. Bears are found in Asia, Europe, and North and South America.
My Favorite Examples In Animation:
Baloo is certainly one of the greatest fictitious bears out there. He first appeared in the Disney animated film, The Jungle Book, in 1967, and made a comeback in TaleSpin in 1990. His good natured, best friend, teacher, mentor attitude makes him the kind of companion I’d love to have.
The original voice actor of Baloo in The Jungle Book, was Phil Harris. Mr. Harris’s jolly, booming voice led him to several live action and voice acting jobs, but in my mind his best work is in animated films. He was O’Malley the alley cat in The AristoCats, Little John in Disney’s Robin Hood (another bear), and his last role ever was the narrator in Don Bluth’s Rock-A-Doodle. This boisterous, best bud sounds like the voice of my childhood.
Other notable animated bears include Glen Keane’s masterfully animated bear in The Fox and the Hound, Winnie the Pooh (my favorite), and Brother Bear, notable for how terrible the story was. Brother Bear is one of my least favorite disney films, and a poor film in general, but the moose brother commentary bonus feature on the DVD is hilarious.
Personal Experiences:
It was a late night in 2007 or 2008. A gray, sleepy house sat on the side of a hill, shrouded by a large tree, in the midst of a drowsy wood. All was quiet but for the sounds of a television playing cartoons in the large, burnt orange carpeted living room. Amongst the couches set up like logs ‘round a campfire, a boy of about 19 lay in repose, beginning to feel sleepy.
Four younger children were already long asleep in their beds on the second floor. The second boy in his large green carpeted room, the third and fourth boys in their blue carpeted, small, bunk bed room. And finally, the youngest, and only sister slept in her little room at the end of the hall which was clustered with pink things. The father had not yet come home from his concert playing oboe with a large orchestra.
The eldest, Christopher, had begun to drift off in the living room among the couches, watching cartoons. He was considering relocating to his small, corner room filled to the brim with clothes and piles of books and junk, when he heard something.
At first he thought he was imagining it. There were strange noises in the woods at night all the time. Inexplicable crunching in the woods, various animal calls. Perhaps it was just a rabbit or a raccoon. Perhaps it was just the wind blowing the trees, and felling a branch in the back yard.
Christopher sat bolt up right, wide awake as distinctive noises sounded from his back door. Inexplicable sounds, yes, but never this close. His eyes began to dart back and forth to various windows surrounding him, looking for any clue as to what these sounds might be. Thinking it might be a robber for the first time in his life at his isolated house, he searched for lights and signs of human activity.
Finding none, he was forced yet again to acknowledge the forceful sounds at the back door. Heart pounding, his sock covered feet padded softly into the kitchen at the back of the house. Gray heel rolled to white foot rolled to gray toe, painstakingly, softly groping the unlit tiled floor, as the door loomed ever closer.
He was at the door. Tension built in his chest; he held his breath; he reached out his arm; he put his finger to the light switch; and then….
In an instant the void of blackness beyond the dim door frame was pulled back, revealing three, large black forms. Three large heads ponderously turned towards the light which had disturbed them. Three toothy snouts, with large black noses, thrust towards Christopher, pointing at him accusingly.
Christopher jumped back in shock and well placed fear. Three large, dumbfounded black bears looked confusedly towards him, shocked from their blissful pillaging. Below them the wreckage of two garbage cans and their contents was strewn about, parts of the mess still in the large, spiky claws of the three bears.
For a moment nobody moved. Neither man nor beast was certain of what should happen next. The three bears were considering if this was a threat and if it was worth leaving food for. The boy was wondering whether he should walk away slowly, grateful to be alive, or stand and fight, defending his right to his rubbish.
Finally, the bears turned back to their sorting. This was no real threat. The light was blinding, and they couldn’t really see much, so they might as well go back to feasting. Christopher stood there in disbelief. Close enough to touch, but for the window on the door between them, these bears continued their ravaging unabashed. He nearly laughed in spite of the situation. How absurd this all seemed! He could pet these beasts if he felt so unwise.
Trying to figure out what to do or how to scare them off, he looked around. There seemed to be nothing for it. He began to open the inner door. As he pulled in, the suction of air from the inner door, made a familiar pounding sound on the outer, glass door, and then the three bears were off. Without looking back, they bolted. Ears told the beasts what their poor vision could not: the threat was real and imminent. Fortunately for the boy, their ears couldn’t tell them what kind of odds they were facing.
The boy opened the glass door and breathed a sigh of relief. Looking at the ground and the mess, he couldn’t believe what had just happened. He giggled stupidly to himself, feeling giddy at the rush of what had just happened. He turned around, looking in every direction, trying to make sure this was real, and searching for someone to tell this to. There was no one of course, so he wobbled back to the living room, sitting down on the edge of the couch, pressing play on the cartoon without knowing what he was doing.
After a few minutes had gone by, he began to sag back down on the couch, his eyelids beginning to droop again. The magic began to fade.
But then again…
Another noise sounded from the back door. Christopher leaped up. Half running back into the kitchen, Christopher turned on the back light at the door again. Three large heads rolled towards him yet again, but this time quickly went back to what they were doing. Now Christopher was jumping up and down excitedly. His heart was racing even faster than before, but rather than reaching for the door, he went back into the dark hallway and into his room.
Tripping and jumping over piles of stuff, Christopher stood on tiptoe and reached to the upper shelf in his closet. He felt the cool metal against his fingertips, and pulled down a long black thing. Hopping over to a dresser he opened the top drawer and pulled out a plastic container and a black, metal, heavy can.
Moments later Christopher was in his kitchen holding his fully assembled Tipman 98 Custom with the flat line barrel, hopper and CO2 tank attached. Complete with orange paintballs that splattered pink paint, he was now fully equipped with his trusted paintball gun. Turning towards a different door, Christopher walked into the bathroom just next to the kitchen. In the dark he crept towards the window which looked out over the garbage pails. Shakily he pulled back the blinds millimeters at a time. He undid the lock; he pulled up on the window. He could see the bears through the window, right there in front of him.
He was practically bursting with excitement, and this time with more confidence. An entire wall stood between him and the bears now, not just a flimsy, glass outer door. This was so perfect: he couldn’t fail. Inch by inch, droplets of sweat forming on his brow, the window was opening. A little more, just a little more. The bears were greedily raking at piles of garbage. The wrinkles on Christopher’s forehead grew deeper, his upper arms began to ache, his shoulders trembled.
SCRRRAAAAPPPEEE.
He couldn’t keep the old window from crying out as he pulled it upward. The bears were already lumbering into darkness and the obscurity of the woods.
Christopher flung the window the rest of the way open, lined up barrel to opening, and stock to shoulder, and began firing. 5, 10, 15 shots into the black woods. But it was already too late. The bears were long gone before he could get a single shot off. In disappointment he continued firing, but to make sure to scare them off he fired a few well placed blots at the slide of his old swing set. The tin looking slide made a magnificent din as ball after paintball hit home.
The bears didn’t come back, and Christopher didn’t worry they would. He couldn’t sleep. Half an hour later a car hummed down the long stretch of driveway, and excitedly the boy ran out to greet his father in the night, jumping up and down and showing off his paintball gun as he recounted the story to his father.
An Interesting Fact About It:
There are only eight species of bears, but they have a wide range. Bears are found in Asia, Europe, and North and South America.
My Favorite Examples In Animation:
Baloo is certainly one of the greatest fictitious bears out there. He first appeared in the Disney animated film, The Jungle Book, in 1967, and made a comeback in TaleSpin in 1990. His good natured, best friend, teacher, mentor attitude makes him the kind of companion I’d love to have.
The original voice actor of Baloo in The Jungle Book, was Phil Harris. Mr. Harris’s jolly, booming voice led him to several live action and voice acting jobs, but in my mind his best work is in animated films. He was O’Malley the alley cat in The AristoCats, Little John in Disney’s Robin Hood (another bear), and his last role ever was the narrator in Don Bluth’s Rock-A-Doodle. This boisterous, best bud sounds like the voice of my childhood.
Other notable animated bears include Glen Keane’s masterfully animated bear in The Fox and the Hound, Winnie the Pooh (my favorite), and Brother Bear, notable for how terrible the story was. Brother Bear is one of my least favorite disney films, and a poor film in general, but the moose brother commentary bonus feature on the DVD is hilarious.
Personal Experiences:
It was a late night in 2007 or 2008. A gray, sleepy house sat on the side of a hill, shrouded by a large tree, in the midst of a drowsy wood. All was quiet but for the sounds of a television playing cartoons in the large, burnt orange carpeted living room. Amongst the couches set up like logs ‘round a campfire, a boy of about 19 lay in repose, beginning to feel sleepy.
Four younger children were already long asleep in their beds on the second floor. The second boy in his large green carpeted room, the third and fourth boys in their blue carpeted, small, bunk bed room. And finally, the youngest, and only sister slept in her little room at the end of the hall which was clustered with pink things. The father had not yet come home from his concert playing oboe with a large orchestra.
The eldest, Christopher, had begun to drift off in the living room among the couches, watching cartoons. He was considering relocating to his small, corner room filled to the brim with clothes and piles of books and junk, when he heard something.
At first he thought he was imagining it. There were strange noises in the woods at night all the time. Inexplicable crunching in the woods, various animal calls. Perhaps it was just a rabbit or a raccoon. Perhaps it was just the wind blowing the trees, and felling a branch in the back yard.
Christopher sat bolt up right, wide awake as distinctive noises sounded from his back door. Inexplicable sounds, yes, but never this close. His eyes began to dart back and forth to various windows surrounding him, looking for any clue as to what these sounds might be. Thinking it might be a robber for the first time in his life at his isolated house, he searched for lights and signs of human activity.
Finding none, he was forced yet again to acknowledge the forceful sounds at the back door. Heart pounding, his sock covered feet padded softly into the kitchen at the back of the house. Gray heel rolled to white foot rolled to gray toe, painstakingly, softly groping the unlit tiled floor, as the door loomed ever closer.
He was at the door. Tension built in his chest; he held his breath; he reached out his arm; he put his finger to the light switch; and then….
In an instant the void of blackness beyond the dim door frame was pulled back, revealing three, large black forms. Three large heads ponderously turned towards the light which had disturbed them. Three toothy snouts, with large black noses, thrust towards Christopher, pointing at him accusingly.
Christopher jumped back in shock and well placed fear. Three large, dumbfounded black bears looked confusedly towards him, shocked from their blissful pillaging. Below them the wreckage of two garbage cans and their contents was strewn about, parts of the mess still in the large, spiky claws of the three bears.
For a moment nobody moved. Neither man nor beast was certain of what should happen next. The three bears were considering if this was a threat and if it was worth leaving food for. The boy was wondering whether he should walk away slowly, grateful to be alive, or stand and fight, defending his right to his rubbish.
Finally, the bears turned back to their sorting. This was no real threat. The light was blinding, and they couldn’t really see much, so they might as well go back to feasting. Christopher stood there in disbelief. Close enough to touch, but for the window on the door between them, these bears continued their ravaging unabashed. He nearly laughed in spite of the situation. How absurd this all seemed! He could pet these beasts if he felt so unwise.
Trying to figure out what to do or how to scare them off, he looked around. There seemed to be nothing for it. He began to open the inner door. As he pulled in, the suction of air from the inner door, made a familiar pounding sound on the outer, glass door, and then the three bears were off. Without looking back, they bolted. Ears told the beasts what their poor vision could not: the threat was real and imminent. Fortunately for the boy, their ears couldn’t tell them what kind of odds they were facing.
The boy opened the glass door and breathed a sigh of relief. Looking at the ground and the mess, he couldn’t believe what had just happened. He giggled stupidly to himself, feeling giddy at the rush of what had just happened. He turned around, looking in every direction, trying to make sure this was real, and searching for someone to tell this to. There was no one of course, so he wobbled back to the living room, sitting down on the edge of the couch, pressing play on the cartoon without knowing what he was doing.
After a few minutes had gone by, he began to sag back down on the couch, his eyelids beginning to droop again. The magic began to fade.
But then again…
Another noise sounded from the back door. Christopher leaped up. Half running back into the kitchen, Christopher turned on the back light at the door again. Three large heads rolled towards him yet again, but this time quickly went back to what they were doing. Now Christopher was jumping up and down excitedly. His heart was racing even faster than before, but rather than reaching for the door, he went back into the dark hallway and into his room.
Tripping and jumping over piles of stuff, Christopher stood on tiptoe and reached to the upper shelf in his closet. He felt the cool metal against his fingertips, and pulled down a long black thing. Hopping over to a dresser he opened the top drawer and pulled out a plastic container and a black, metal, heavy can.
Moments later Christopher was in his kitchen holding his fully assembled Tipman 98 Custom with the flat line barrel, hopper and CO2 tank attached. Complete with orange paintballs that splattered pink paint, he was now fully equipped with his trusted paintball gun. Turning towards a different door, Christopher walked into the bathroom just next to the kitchen. In the dark he crept towards the window which looked out over the garbage pails. Shakily he pulled back the blinds millimeters at a time. He undid the lock; he pulled up on the window. He could see the bears through the window, right there in front of him.
He was practically bursting with excitement, and this time with more confidence. An entire wall stood between him and the bears now, not just a flimsy, glass outer door. This was so perfect: he couldn’t fail. Inch by inch, droplets of sweat forming on his brow, the window was opening. A little more, just a little more. The bears were greedily raking at piles of garbage. The wrinkles on Christopher’s forehead grew deeper, his upper arms began to ache, his shoulders trembled.
SCRRRAAAAPPPEEE.
He couldn’t keep the old window from crying out as he pulled it upward. The bears were already lumbering into darkness and the obscurity of the woods.
Christopher flung the window the rest of the way open, lined up barrel to opening, and stock to shoulder, and began firing. 5, 10, 15 shots into the black woods. But it was already too late. The bears were long gone before he could get a single shot off. In disappointment he continued firing, but to make sure to scare them off he fired a few well placed blots at the slide of his old swing set. The tin looking slide made a magnificent din as ball after paintball hit home.
The bears didn’t come back, and Christopher didn’t worry they would. He couldn’t sleep. Half an hour later a car hummed down the long stretch of driveway, and excitedly the boy ran out to greet his father in the night, jumping up and down and showing off his paintball gun as he recounted the story to his father.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
The Ant
#1
What I know about it:
The ant is an insect which is known for congregating in a sort of hive, or colony. Ants form hills or create nests in a variety of places, and work together as a community to mine resources, defend themselves, and reproduce.
Examples in Animation:
There have been three animated movies made about ants that come to my mind off the top of my head, DreamWorks Animation's Antz, Pixar's A Bug's Life, and The Ant Bully by Warner Bros. Some have Criticized Antz for being a flagrant ripoff of Pixar's A Bug's Life. Antz came out a month before Pixar's A Bug's Life. A Bug's Life was Pixar's second animated feature.
The Ant Bully came out years later in 2006. The film cost considerably less than either of the films that preceded it by about a decade, and flopped with flying colors.
A Bug's Life was the most successful of the three films, just about doubling it's $120M budget, but that's still not the great success studios hope for these days.
Ants must have also been the inspiration for the Zerg in StarCraft, the video game. The Zerg are a race of creatures that form a hive colony and who operate completely in concert. All structures they build are biological, and they grow and evolve by mining resources. They work together for what is called "The Overmind," and seemingly have no personal will.
What I've learned About it:
Ants are found in every part of the world except for Antarctica and some remote islands devoid of life. Ants form societies and communities, and through this create a division of labor, communicate between individuals, and are capable of solving complex problems. The makeup of their society is therefore compared to humans fairly often.
Personal Experience:
When I was growing up my siblings and I, specifically my younger brother and I, loved to explore the woods in our back yard. We loved to climb trees and make forts, wandering along paths and looking for a good walking stick/sword on our journeys.
There was a particular tree in our side yard that was a pine tree. A small, scraggly thing, probably a virginiana pine, with thin branches and long, soft needles. It was really easy to climb with branches low to the ground and at regular intervals, so my brother Daniel and I used to climb it and call it our lookout or fort. It had sap running down its narrow trunk, and there were often ants running up and down the bark, getting stuck in the sap.
When I was seven or eight, and Daniel five or six, for some reason it occurred to me that it would be a good idea to try to "survive" by eating ants as a gathered food in the wild, as we ventured in the forest, looking for shelter, exploring the unknown wilds, and bolstering ourselves against enemies. Daniel may deny it, but I think he tried one too; I remember eating several. They were tiny, the really little kind of ants. The little ants never bothered me, especially compared to those large, extremely fast ants, that always seemed to cling to your arms and tickle and terrify you as they looked for food. With these little ones, I would pick one up, crush it with my fingers (because I never wanted something alive in my mouth), and then eat it. Probably not the safest plan, but I lived.
There was another time in the woods in our back yard when we found an old, rusty bucket, half submerged in the dirt. The bottom was nearly gone, and the whole thing was red and rotten with rust. I think Daniel sat on it, or picked it up, and was quickly overwhelmed by thousands of ants filling his clothes. He literally had ants in his pants. I vaguely remember him running screaming out of the woods and Mom helping him get the ants off of him. He was probably four or five.
What I know about it:
The ant is an insect which is known for congregating in a sort of hive, or colony. Ants form hills or create nests in a variety of places, and work together as a community to mine resources, defend themselves, and reproduce.
Examples in Animation:
There have been three animated movies made about ants that come to my mind off the top of my head, DreamWorks Animation's Antz, Pixar's A Bug's Life, and The Ant Bully by Warner Bros. Some have Criticized Antz for being a flagrant ripoff of Pixar's A Bug's Life. Antz came out a month before Pixar's A Bug's Life. A Bug's Life was Pixar's second animated feature.
The Ant Bully came out years later in 2006. The film cost considerably less than either of the films that preceded it by about a decade, and flopped with flying colors.
A Bug's Life was the most successful of the three films, just about doubling it's $120M budget, but that's still not the great success studios hope for these days.
Ants must have also been the inspiration for the Zerg in StarCraft, the video game. The Zerg are a race of creatures that form a hive colony and who operate completely in concert. All structures they build are biological, and they grow and evolve by mining resources. They work together for what is called "The Overmind," and seemingly have no personal will.
What I've learned About it:
Ants are found in every part of the world except for Antarctica and some remote islands devoid of life. Ants form societies and communities, and through this create a division of labor, communicate between individuals, and are capable of solving complex problems. The makeup of their society is therefore compared to humans fairly often.
Personal Experience:
When I was growing up my siblings and I, specifically my younger brother and I, loved to explore the woods in our back yard. We loved to climb trees and make forts, wandering along paths and looking for a good walking stick/sword on our journeys.
There was a particular tree in our side yard that was a pine tree. A small, scraggly thing, probably a virginiana pine, with thin branches and long, soft needles. It was really easy to climb with branches low to the ground and at regular intervals, so my brother Daniel and I used to climb it and call it our lookout or fort. It had sap running down its narrow trunk, and there were often ants running up and down the bark, getting stuck in the sap.
When I was seven or eight, and Daniel five or six, for some reason it occurred to me that it would be a good idea to try to "survive" by eating ants as a gathered food in the wild, as we ventured in the forest, looking for shelter, exploring the unknown wilds, and bolstering ourselves against enemies. Daniel may deny it, but I think he tried one too; I remember eating several. They were tiny, the really little kind of ants. The little ants never bothered me, especially compared to those large, extremely fast ants, that always seemed to cling to your arms and tickle and terrify you as they looked for food. With these little ones, I would pick one up, crush it with my fingers (because I never wanted something alive in my mouth), and then eat it. Probably not the safest plan, but I lived.
There was another time in the woods in our back yard when we found an old, rusty bucket, half submerged in the dirt. The bottom was nearly gone, and the whole thing was red and rotten with rust. I think Daniel sat on it, or picked it up, and was quickly overwhelmed by thousands of ants filling his clothes. He literally had ants in his pants. I vaguely remember him running screaming out of the woods and Mom helping him get the ants off of him. He was probably four or five.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Negative Truth
(Some SPOILERS for Captain America: The Winter Soldier in the fifth paragraph).
I've realized that sometimes I won't just keep quiet about my qualms about things, not because I want to be negative and don't want to be positive, but because I feel I am being dishonest if I don't explain why I didn't love something: a film, situation, or event.
After seeing Captain America: The Winter Soldier the other day, I wasn't nearly as positive about the film as everyone else seemed to be. People were raving about the movie, saying it's the best super hero film so far. I was underwhelmed. I liked it, I thought it was good, but I didn't leave the theater feeling overly satisfied or impacted.
I kept racking my brain: what didn't I like about it? What didn't work for me? Does this matter? Should I say anything because I didn't like it as much as others, or should I keep quiet unless I affirm that it was well done? So far I have kept mostly silent, now and then telling people I thought it was really good. I did! There were some excellent sequences, lots of great acting, and a solid story overall. And I don't need to be negative. There wasn't anything I disliked about the film. Should I even say anything about my dissatisfaction about the film?
Thinking about it for a while, just telling people I thought it was good didn't entirely feel right to me. I felt I was being dishonest by not telling people my true perception of the film. But even to fully express my reaction, the feeling is still perplexing. Though there isn't anything in particular I didn't like, for whatever reason, the film didn't hit the mark for me overall. Maybe I didn't know enough of the back story or the history of the comics, but some of the twists were not what I was expecting. I wasn't shocked by the twists, but I didn't really know how to feel about the twists at all. It was like I was numb while things happened in the film. Events took place, and I barely reacted. In the aftermath, I didn't know how to feel.
(SPOILERS in this paragraph):
Parts that I did like were some of the biggest action sequences. The action in this film is very well directed. The camera tells the story, rather than cutting away from it for the mind to fill in the blank. My favorite sequence in the film is when Cap escapes SHIELD and takes down a jet in the process. Very exciting, very classic Cap, and very well executed. It was one of those moments where the whole audience jumps up after an amazing touch down--where you feel the excitement in your chest. I also really liked Captain America's character. They really get him and his inner struggle in this movie. He's just who I want him to be.
But maybe this is where it doesn't quite work for me. Even though we know who Captain America is and he's who we want him to be, who we know him to be, it doesn't feel very personal. It's like there are too many things going on in this movie, and we don't get a good chance to really get close and personal with the characters. Lots of events happen, lots of plot and exposition happen, and lots of action happens. Now and then we get a few lines from a character about how they feel, but it's so short, it's like a fly over of scenery. You get a glance of the richness below you, but before you get a chance to understand it fully, it's gone.
I'm not saying I want a heart throb drama, but my favorite stories have characters who I almost consider friends because I grew to know and appreciate them so well. In Captain America: The Winter Soldier, there's not enough time to get a deeper sense of who these people are. There is character development, and we know these characters better than we did before the film. But I can't help feeling like we're only scratching the surface of who these people are, and that makes me feel unsatisfied. I just needed to say that.
I've realized that sometimes I won't just keep quiet about my qualms about things, not because I want to be negative and don't want to be positive, but because I feel I am being dishonest if I don't explain why I didn't love something: a film, situation, or event.
After seeing Captain America: The Winter Soldier the other day, I wasn't nearly as positive about the film as everyone else seemed to be. People were raving about the movie, saying it's the best super hero film so far. I was underwhelmed. I liked it, I thought it was good, but I didn't leave the theater feeling overly satisfied or impacted.
I kept racking my brain: what didn't I like about it? What didn't work for me? Does this matter? Should I say anything because I didn't like it as much as others, or should I keep quiet unless I affirm that it was well done? So far I have kept mostly silent, now and then telling people I thought it was really good. I did! There were some excellent sequences, lots of great acting, and a solid story overall. And I don't need to be negative. There wasn't anything I disliked about the film. Should I even say anything about my dissatisfaction about the film?
Thinking about it for a while, just telling people I thought it was good didn't entirely feel right to me. I felt I was being dishonest by not telling people my true perception of the film. But even to fully express my reaction, the feeling is still perplexing. Though there isn't anything in particular I didn't like, for whatever reason, the film didn't hit the mark for me overall. Maybe I didn't know enough of the back story or the history of the comics, but some of the twists were not what I was expecting. I wasn't shocked by the twists, but I didn't really know how to feel about the twists at all. It was like I was numb while things happened in the film. Events took place, and I barely reacted. In the aftermath, I didn't know how to feel.
(SPOILERS in this paragraph):
Parts that I did like were some of the biggest action sequences. The action in this film is very well directed. The camera tells the story, rather than cutting away from it for the mind to fill in the blank. My favorite sequence in the film is when Cap escapes SHIELD and takes down a jet in the process. Very exciting, very classic Cap, and very well executed. It was one of those moments where the whole audience jumps up after an amazing touch down--where you feel the excitement in your chest. I also really liked Captain America's character. They really get him and his inner struggle in this movie. He's just who I want him to be.
But maybe this is where it doesn't quite work for me. Even though we know who Captain America is and he's who we want him to be, who we know him to be, it doesn't feel very personal. It's like there are too many things going on in this movie, and we don't get a good chance to really get close and personal with the characters. Lots of events happen, lots of plot and exposition happen, and lots of action happens. Now and then we get a few lines from a character about how they feel, but it's so short, it's like a fly over of scenery. You get a glance of the richness below you, but before you get a chance to understand it fully, it's gone.
I'm not saying I want a heart throb drama, but my favorite stories have characters who I almost consider friends because I grew to know and appreciate them so well. In Captain America: The Winter Soldier, there's not enough time to get a deeper sense of who these people are. There is character development, and we know these characters better than we did before the film. But I can't help feeling like we're only scratching the surface of who these people are, and that makes me feel unsatisfied. I just needed to say that.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Beyond This Earthly Realm
"What do ya think, Finn, can we pull back the veil of static, and reach into the source of all being, behind this curtain of patterns, this random pattern generator. So clever, right here in every home, watching us from a one sided mirror."
-Ice King AT S4 E6a. "Beyond This Earthly Realm"
-Ice King AT S4 E6a. "Beyond This Earthly Realm"
Friday, September 6, 2013
The Non Sequitur Bad Day
For all intents and purposes, today should be a good day. Well, I guess not necessarily good. Nothing has really gone well, but nothing has really gone wrong either. Of course, I didn't get much sleep last night at all. And now I'm at work. In some people's books that would be a bad day.
But the bottom line is, whether it's earned or not, I'm feeling unhappy today. I feel guilty, like a bad person. I feel I've betrayed one of my closest friends. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was to tell someone I love that I don't like her like that.
I don't know if I've ever been so conflicted about something. I care about this person so much. And yet I don't think that a relationship with her is right for either of us. But because of how much I care about her, this conclusion baffles me. And part of me wishes I could love her like that...that we could be right for each other.
I'm not sure if it's cognitive dissonance, or delusions, or just being a shallow idiot....but, am I crazy? Relationships confuse me so much.
But the bottom line is, whether it's earned or not, I'm feeling unhappy today. I feel guilty, like a bad person. I feel I've betrayed one of my closest friends. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was to tell someone I love that I don't like her like that.
I don't know if I've ever been so conflicted about something. I care about this person so much. And yet I don't think that a relationship with her is right for either of us. But because of how much I care about her, this conclusion baffles me. And part of me wishes I could love her like that...that we could be right for each other.
I'm not sure if it's cognitive dissonance, or delusions, or just being a shallow idiot....but, am I crazy? Relationships confuse me so much.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
My Animation Journey So Far
The other day my cousin told me she was really excited to work as a professional film score composer. She sounded a little unsure, and she's a sophomore in high school, so having been out of college for a year now, and being a little bit further along in the journey of self-discovery, going through school, and finding a career, I offered her some unsolicited advice.
In the process of writing back to her, I wrote out all the most important things I've learned about being who you want to be, doing what you want to do, and I also wrote about my own journey so far.
Reading it back, I found it very encouraging and inspiring even to me, and so I thought I'd share it with everyone! Here's what I wrote to my cousin:
Here's a tip. I've learned that the most important step in your journey to knowing yourself, enjoying life, and to your education and career is finding out what you love. Find that thing that excites you more than anything and that you do for fun, or that thing that you could do if there were absolutely no objects in the way. If you could be anything, what would you do/be?
Once you realize that, you have to be really honest with yourself. Will you be happy doing anything else? Will you always regret it if you don't do this thing that you love? Is this thing that you love something that you absolutely have to have? Do you have any idea what it takes, how much work it will take to get there, and how hard it will be? Are you willing to do all that work to get there because you want to do it no matter what?
If that's the case, then you have to determine then and there, no matter what, unless you end up having a different dream, you ARE going to do this.
After that you have to realize that becoming who you want to be doesn't happen sometime in the future, and it doesn't start tomorrow. It starts now. If you want to be a composer, be it now. I'm not saying you should compose Beethoven's 9th Symphony, or the soundtrack to Inception 2, but you should do whatever you can today so that you will be the composer you want to be tomorrow.
By that I mean, little and big things: talking to people in the industry however possible. Geeking out about it. Learning everything you possibly can. Randy Newman's middle name, his influences, his first composition. Play piano every day. Buy a cheep notebook, maybe a little one, that you carry around with you everywhere, and call it your inspiration/idea/song journal and write things down in it daily.
Find mentors and learn how they got to where they are. This could be a high school music teacher, or a semi-professional conductor composer you see at a local opera or something.
Read lots of books.
Listen to lots of music. If you want to do something with music, you need to know it all. Listen to every record, CD, opera, ballet, musical, film soundtrack, and live performance you can. Become a library for what you love. Have a goal of being an authority on what you love, so that people can ask you almost anything about it and you'll have an answer at the drop of a hat. Form opinions about different pieces. Know what you love and why. Know what you hate and why. Be able to defend both.
Maybe start a blog and write about it, reviewing different pieces, or talking about what makes them unique. Learn different styles and techniques, study theory, all kinds. Study the differences in culture in music, western vs eastern, European VS. American, Asian, South American.
Back at the beginning of 2011 I saw Tangled in theaters. It was in the dollar theater, and I went to see it 3 times in a week because I loved it and was so inspired by it. It was absolutely beautiful, and I wanted to go into that world.
After coming out of the theater like a moonstruck kid with giant eyes, I said to myself, I NEED to make that kind of thing. I NEED to be an animator.
I was scared and I had some doubt about it. How could I possibly do this? Being an animator is like as hard as becoming a professional basketball player. How could I, an inexperienced kid, with not that much talent, become an animator, especially considering I was at a school for studying something else.
"I don't care," I told myself. "Whatever it takes. I care about this too much not to die trying."
From that point on I decided that even though I wasn't in school for animation and I barely knew anything about it, I was going to do it.
I emailed my best friend about it, and he almost tried to squash this crazy idea I had. He cautioned me saying that I better either buckle down or prepare for disappointment. He said that a friend of his brother's had been trying to become an animator for years and he couldn't break in. He said that if I wanted to do it I'd have to make myself draw for about 3 hours a day.
This momentarily caused me to second guess myself. But then I realized that he was saying all the things that I had already been telling myself, and I knew how to answer it. This wasn't a kid's game, this wasn't a passing whimsy. This thing was in me now and I wasn't gonna let it die.
I started drawing every day. I read about stuff on animation everyday. I created a complicated and extensive bookmark list on my internet browser and basically started a library of references and inspirational articles and artists. I read about the news in animation, read about techniques, found other animators online.
I started a blog and tried to be as professional as possible, updating regularly about things I found inspiring in animation and news that I found.
After 2 years of blogging, that blog became Animation Force, and we got discovered and now have over 31,000 followers, and that was just a side thing to keep me active and up to date in the industry!
I found books on the subject and basically started teaching myself a college level animation course by myself.
I had never even animated before, and for over a year I continued just practicing, researching, writing, and learning.
Then out of nowhere a friend approached me and asked if I wanted to co-direct an animated short. The short would be 2D hand drawn, and I would be the director, and the lead animator. We would also be doing it for an assignment in a class and for our college film festival, which gave us less than 20 days to do a 3 minute short (that's a ridiculously short amount of time to prepare). I was FREAKING out! This scared me more than anything because I had never once animated before for real. And yet, this also excited me beyond all reason. I told my friend that it was insane, but maybe, and I'd let him know in the next day or two.
I didn't sleep for 2 nights.
We decided to do it. I talked to every artist I knew at the school and was able to recruit somewhere around 20 of them to help with the animated short. None of them had ever animated before. I was one of the few who knew in theory how to do it. If it hadn't been for that last year of teaching myself it never would have been possible.
I don't know how I convinced so many to help. Maybe it was that crazy look in my eye as I asked them. It seemed crazy. But I told myself, even if we failed we would succeed, because we would learn a ton by doing it, and even if it didn't get into the film festival, or if it didn't get a good grade in our class, we would still learn.
But I already knew it was gonna happen. I saw it in my minds eye.
We started character design, and one of the artists who I asked for help told me that we didn't have what it takes to animate. This artist told me that we weren't good enough artists and that they had seen things like this before and it all came crashing down; we were in for disappointment, they said.
This was a big blow. I grieved over it for about an hour or two.
Then I moved on.
Over the next 15 days I sent 10 emails a day, sent and received something like 500 texts a day, and called people on the phone about 5 times a day, also meeting with the other artists about once every other hour. I assigned different scenes to people, and joy of joys! I started animating for the first time!
Actually, the first time I animated I was extremely angry and frustrated. This was flipping hard!!
Another sleepless night, and I got over it and picked up the pencil again. Then in a heat of excited passion, I animated and keyed a scene that I thought was really good, and even experimented a bit and pulled off a complicated move. After that I was very proud and I've never gained so much confidence so quickly as when I did that.
After I think 14 days, we finished over 900 drawings and got the animation done. 3 days later we handed in the project. A week later, we got into the film festival. I saw my first animation ever up on a giant screen in front of hundreds of people and heard them laugh at MY SCENE!
A year later, I realize how important that first dose of success was, and also, how little I knew. But that just eggs me on even harder.
I guess the point of all this is to give you a dose of what it's like before you start. And here's a really important bit of advice that I have gleaned from my own experience: Never forget that you love this thing and you need it, and no matter what happens, whether you feel up or down, whether people encourage or insult you, let those things egg you on even further. I'm probably not even halfway there, but I'm so confident I will get there because I know, for one thing, that God is with me and has helped all this to fall into place for me, and also, I know that I WILL NEVER GIVE UP.
So, I hope this doesn't make you fall asleep with how long it is, and that it maybe excites and inspires you, and gives you a spark that you can grasp on to, which will start your own journey. Maybe you're only in high school, but I wish I'd started in high school. If I had, I'd be so much further now. It really doesn't take all that long if you're really involved and motivated. At least in my experience. But here's the thing, I always knew I could keep going even if it took forever, because I love it too much even if I don't get any recognition for it. This is what I want to do whether I'm paid for it or not. You need to make that determination too.
In the process of writing back to her, I wrote out all the most important things I've learned about being who you want to be, doing what you want to do, and I also wrote about my own journey so far.
Reading it back, I found it very encouraging and inspiring even to me, and so I thought I'd share it with everyone! Here's what I wrote to my cousin:
Here's a tip. I've learned that the most important step in your journey to knowing yourself, enjoying life, and to your education and career is finding out what you love. Find that thing that excites you more than anything and that you do for fun, or that thing that you could do if there were absolutely no objects in the way. If you could be anything, what would you do/be?
Once you realize that, you have to be really honest with yourself. Will you be happy doing anything else? Will you always regret it if you don't do this thing that you love? Is this thing that you love something that you absolutely have to have? Do you have any idea what it takes, how much work it will take to get there, and how hard it will be? Are you willing to do all that work to get there because you want to do it no matter what?
If that's the case, then you have to determine then and there, no matter what, unless you end up having a different dream, you ARE going to do this.
After that you have to realize that becoming who you want to be doesn't happen sometime in the future, and it doesn't start tomorrow. It starts now. If you want to be a composer, be it now. I'm not saying you should compose Beethoven's 9th Symphony, or the soundtrack to Inception 2, but you should do whatever you can today so that you will be the composer you want to be tomorrow.
By that I mean, little and big things: talking to people in the industry however possible. Geeking out about it. Learning everything you possibly can. Randy Newman's middle name, his influences, his first composition. Play piano every day. Buy a cheep notebook, maybe a little one, that you carry around with you everywhere, and call it your inspiration/idea/song journal and write things down in it daily.
Find mentors and learn how they got to where they are. This could be a high school music teacher, or a semi-professional conductor composer you see at a local opera or something.
Read lots of books.
Listen to lots of music. If you want to do something with music, you need to know it all. Listen to every record, CD, opera, ballet, musical, film soundtrack, and live performance you can. Become a library for what you love. Have a goal of being an authority on what you love, so that people can ask you almost anything about it and you'll have an answer at the drop of a hat. Form opinions about different pieces. Know what you love and why. Know what you hate and why. Be able to defend both.
Maybe start a blog and write about it, reviewing different pieces, or talking about what makes them unique. Learn different styles and techniques, study theory, all kinds. Study the differences in culture in music, western vs eastern, European VS. American, Asian, South American.
Back at the beginning of 2011 I saw Tangled in theaters. It was in the dollar theater, and I went to see it 3 times in a week because I loved it and was so inspired by it. It was absolutely beautiful, and I wanted to go into that world.
After coming out of the theater like a moonstruck kid with giant eyes, I said to myself, I NEED to make that kind of thing. I NEED to be an animator.
I was scared and I had some doubt about it. How could I possibly do this? Being an animator is like as hard as becoming a professional basketball player. How could I, an inexperienced kid, with not that much talent, become an animator, especially considering I was at a school for studying something else.
"I don't care," I told myself. "Whatever it takes. I care about this too much not to die trying."
From that point on I decided that even though I wasn't in school for animation and I barely knew anything about it, I was going to do it.
I emailed my best friend about it, and he almost tried to squash this crazy idea I had. He cautioned me saying that I better either buckle down or prepare for disappointment. He said that a friend of his brother's had been trying to become an animator for years and he couldn't break in. He said that if I wanted to do it I'd have to make myself draw for about 3 hours a day.
This momentarily caused me to second guess myself. But then I realized that he was saying all the things that I had already been telling myself, and I knew how to answer it. This wasn't a kid's game, this wasn't a passing whimsy. This thing was in me now and I wasn't gonna let it die.
I started drawing every day. I read about stuff on animation everyday. I created a complicated and extensive bookmark list on my internet browser and basically started a library of references and inspirational articles and artists. I read about the news in animation, read about techniques, found other animators online.
I started a blog and tried to be as professional as possible, updating regularly about things I found inspiring in animation and news that I found.
After 2 years of blogging, that blog became Animation Force, and we got discovered and now have over 31,000 followers, and that was just a side thing to keep me active and up to date in the industry!
I found books on the subject and basically started teaching myself a college level animation course by myself.
I had never even animated before, and for over a year I continued just practicing, researching, writing, and learning.
Then out of nowhere a friend approached me and asked if I wanted to co-direct an animated short. The short would be 2D hand drawn, and I would be the director, and the lead animator. We would also be doing it for an assignment in a class and for our college film festival, which gave us less than 20 days to do a 3 minute short (that's a ridiculously short amount of time to prepare). I was FREAKING out! This scared me more than anything because I had never once animated before for real. And yet, this also excited me beyond all reason. I told my friend that it was insane, but maybe, and I'd let him know in the next day or two.
I didn't sleep for 2 nights.
We decided to do it. I talked to every artist I knew at the school and was able to recruit somewhere around 20 of them to help with the animated short. None of them had ever animated before. I was one of the few who knew in theory how to do it. If it hadn't been for that last year of teaching myself it never would have been possible.
I don't know how I convinced so many to help. Maybe it was that crazy look in my eye as I asked them. It seemed crazy. But I told myself, even if we failed we would succeed, because we would learn a ton by doing it, and even if it didn't get into the film festival, or if it didn't get a good grade in our class, we would still learn.
But I already knew it was gonna happen. I saw it in my minds eye.
We started character design, and one of the artists who I asked for help told me that we didn't have what it takes to animate. This artist told me that we weren't good enough artists and that they had seen things like this before and it all came crashing down; we were in for disappointment, they said.
This was a big blow. I grieved over it for about an hour or two.
Then I moved on.
Over the next 15 days I sent 10 emails a day, sent and received something like 500 texts a day, and called people on the phone about 5 times a day, also meeting with the other artists about once every other hour. I assigned different scenes to people, and joy of joys! I started animating for the first time!
Actually, the first time I animated I was extremely angry and frustrated. This was flipping hard!!
Another sleepless night, and I got over it and picked up the pencil again. Then in a heat of excited passion, I animated and keyed a scene that I thought was really good, and even experimented a bit and pulled off a complicated move. After that I was very proud and I've never gained so much confidence so quickly as when I did that.
After I think 14 days, we finished over 900 drawings and got the animation done. 3 days later we handed in the project. A week later, we got into the film festival. I saw my first animation ever up on a giant screen in front of hundreds of people and heard them laugh at MY SCENE!
A year later, I realize how important that first dose of success was, and also, how little I knew. But that just eggs me on even harder.
I guess the point of all this is to give you a dose of what it's like before you start. And here's a really important bit of advice that I have gleaned from my own experience: Never forget that you love this thing and you need it, and no matter what happens, whether you feel up or down, whether people encourage or insult you, let those things egg you on even further. I'm probably not even halfway there, but I'm so confident I will get there because I know, for one thing, that God is with me and has helped all this to fall into place for me, and also, I know that I WILL NEVER GIVE UP.
So, I hope this doesn't make you fall asleep with how long it is, and that it maybe excites and inspires you, and gives you a spark that you can grasp on to, which will start your own journey. Maybe you're only in high school, but I wish I'd started in high school. If I had, I'd be so much further now. It really doesn't take all that long if you're really involved and motivated. At least in my experience. But here's the thing, I always knew I could keep going even if it took forever, because I love it too much even if I don't get any recognition for it. This is what I want to do whether I'm paid for it or not. You need to make that determination too.
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