For all intents and purposes, today should be a good day. Well, I guess not necessarily good. Nothing has really gone well, but nothing has really gone wrong either. Of course, I didn't get much sleep last night at all. And now I'm at work. In some people's books that would be a bad day.
But the bottom line is, whether it's earned or not, I'm feeling unhappy today. I feel guilty, like a bad person. I feel I've betrayed one of my closest friends. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was to tell someone I love that I don't like her like that.
I don't know if I've ever been so conflicted about something. I care about this person so much. And yet I don't think that a relationship with her is right for either of us. But because of how much I care about her, this conclusion baffles me. And part of me wishes I could love her like that...that we could be right for each other.
I'm not sure if it's cognitive dissonance, or delusions, or just being a shallow idiot....but, am I crazy? Relationships confuse me so much.
