The Beardly Hallows

It's time for a beard blog update!

This past month was no shave november, so I thought I'd make a post showing the progression of beard and the aftermath.

Here we go.

Lets start with me, just before it all happened.



And now onto the facial scruff:



And a little more...




Starting to get pretty scruffy now:


Heading back to school from Thanks-giving at this point:





And here's where I start to have some fun and get a little creepy looking:




Time for some MUTTON CHOPS!!!!






And now back to normal:


It was a fun month (actually about a week longer than a month at the end there). I wonder what I'll do next year.

Darkness Comes Before The Dawn

Darkness comes before the dawn? Tonight it is most certainly dark, but the dawn I'm looking forward to will most likely be darker. That's the trouble with tonight, I don't want to face tomorrow.

This is where the stress sets in. As is my custom I have left probably more work than I should have for the day of my project (Thursday). I tell myself in consolation as I rest my head upon my pillow, the night before said day, that I can get it all done and I will be ready in time for my project. And I'm usually almost right. I usually get almost all of it done, though the day is a mad roller coaster as I frantically scamper about, trying to get everything done and I get more and more stressed until the climax when everything comes together in the end.

So why all the stress? I suppose I'm just not looking forward to the journey. I know that I only have two days that I need to get through, and I know that next week is Thanks-giving, but boy oh boy do I wish Friday was today and I could just sit back smugly with the knowledge that I've gotten all of this work done. But that day will come, provided I don't die first, which is always a possibility, I mean, lets face it, people die pretty frequently. All it would take is an idiot on the road or a sudden spontaneous case of an unknown terminal illness.

But enough of these fantasies. Lets get back to reality, shall we? The reality is this: Thursday is day of death part 1. Friday is day of death part 2. Friday afternoon is happy days. Tonight is the day before hell starts. So you can understand the dilemma I'm in.

Once again, for a little dose of reality, none of this is really as bad as I'm making it out to be. Come to think of it, I'm really quite positive about it all, I simply find these emotions and this current tension in my life an awful thing to waste, I mean, look what I've written already? Ok, I understand that you think it's a bunch of insane ramblings of my diseased mind, but I don't really care what you think; I'm enjoying it, and that's all that matters.

More to the point this is very therapeutic, and where I was writhing in depressive bitterness earlier, I really have quite a positive outlook on these upcoming trials I will be facing. And it's all thanks to the awesome power of writing! All I had to do was break down how I was feeling, talk about how I've lived through it in the past, and bang! Everything is once again good in the world. I wonder if I could make that into a restorative three act structure...ehhh, but that's another story.

And I've lost your attention. I can't say I blame you, I mean this is really long and I'm saying basically nothing of importance. But again, I don't really care (wow, I really am a jerk to my non-existent potential readers, aren't I?). I'm doing this for me, and however selfish that may sound, it's a big deal in my life. I say that because up until this semester, even though I've tried my best to conceal it and make myself believe otherwise, I HAVE cared what other people think of me. But here I am on a new path in life (oh cliches, you haunt me!), a path that isn't looking for a companion (i.e. a girlfriend), and a path that says I'll do whatever I need to do for myself and my God. And gosh darn it, I'm going to make it to the end of this path.

I really have no idea where this entry is going anymore. Excuse me while I pause to read over what I've already written and reclaim my train of thought...

Well, re-reading everything didn't really help much, and it's getting late, which means it's time to turn in...to a monkey.
What I'm trying to say is...It's over. That's the end...you can go home now.

Ok I'm leaving.

Spontaneity Prime

It's super late right now, and I'm getting to bed late again when I told myself I wouldn't. It was imperative that I get to bed at a decent hour tonight. But here I am, up past 3:00 AM again, and I'm just killing time, posting on blogger.

I just suddenly felt the urge to write something. I love to write, and blogger offers the unique opportunity at the moment to write without rules. I don't have to catch up on anything, I don't have to include or not include anything in particular, and I'm not writing for an assignment or for anyone in particular to read it. So I can post in absolute freedom, just saying what I want and nothing else. It's nice.

Today I had an excellent, though unnerving at times, day. My class this morning went pretty well and then I slept for three hours to recover from getting to bed at 4 the last two nights. I felt really good after that, both physically and emotionally.

It's good that I've been emotionally in tact at the beginning of this week, because this is probably the hardest week of my life so far. And I say that thinking that it is very nearly true. I have 3 projects due this week, a paper, a test, financial aid, and several hours of production on certain nights.

I'm going to feel really good when I get to Friday at noon. Then I can focus on paying for college, hopefully get that done, and then be really ready for Thanks-giving. I'm going home for Thanks-giving, so I can't wait. I'm really looking forward to seeing my family, and at the same time, suddenly not ready for it. That's another story, maybe I'll elaborate on it another time. Right now my emotional state may be slightly more unstable due to the late hour and exhaustion.

Anyway, I'm also really excited to see my best friend David when I go home. So I think it will be a great Thanks-giving.

Today, like I said was a good day. I had lots to do, and I got a lot accomplished. Tonight was a long night of production too, and despite some set backs and crazy things that went wrong (which happens all the time on productions) things went really well I think. I was really proud of myself for getting homework done while I was there too. We had good food, I did a good job, and I hung out with good friends, and I sang the theme song to Duck Tales practically the whole time. I don't know what more I could have asked for. I really have such a blessed life, even with all the hard times.

Speaking of hard times, I've had a lot this semester. But I think that it's a good thing. I feel I've grown so much this semester. I've grown as a person, as a man, as a man of God and as a media com student. It's a good feeling because I feel really confident in general and I feel closer to God as a result. I really like who I am and who I'm becoming. And I am confident about my future and about the work God is doing in and through me, and also the work He has for me in the future. It's exciting and I am enjoying life and this semester despite it being the hardest part of my life so far.

Despite all of this, tonight I am feeling a little uneasy. My attention has again been brought to the subject of my home life. I don't feel at home there anymore and don't completely understand how I'm supposed to fit in there anymore. I don't really like the structure of my family anymore and I don't like to think about what it will be like to live there over Thanks-giving. I love my Dad, my brothers and my sister so much, but I don't know how to feel about my step mom and my step sister yet. I try to love them with Christ's love, but I can't really accept them as part of my family yet. I don't know how. I don't really know them and I don't know if I like them yet. I know that's horrible to say, but how can I? I don't know them. And how can I get to know two people I don't live with and who I don't speak the same language as?

There are just so many confusing factors and so many things that don't make sense with this merger of two families and I don't know how I'm supposed to take it or what I'm supposed to do in all of this. One thing I do know: my step mom is not my Mother. My real mom still exists and no one will ever replace her. And I'm just going to flat out say that I don't like that my siblings call her mom. I don't think it's right. She's not their mom. Even if that were how things work, even if it was the right thing for people to adopt a new mom when their original one died, it's been too short and she hasn't earned that yet. None of us know her very well. I'm not saying that she's untrustworthy, I'm just saying, how can we accept her so easily as an integral part of our family when it's nearly impossible for us to communicate with her, we don't know her and she judges us while her own daughter is out of control. And that in itself is another dilemma which threatens to tear our family and my siblings to shreds. But I won't go into that.

This may all sound like I'm angry and bitter, but I'm not. I'm simply distressed and don't know how to understand all of this. I need to pray about it a ton because it weighs on me heavily and is causing me more emotional trauma than this entire semester has. I need God to make sense of this because I can't understand it.

Lord I pray that you would give me eyes to see and ears to hear what you tell me. I pray that I would receive it humbly and would accept what you tell me without judgement. I pray that I would glorify your name in how I act in the future and in regard to this situation. And finally Lord, I pray that you would hold me in your arms and comfort me. Fill me with your spirit and surround me with your protection. Give me peace and joy and help my faith to be strong enough to know that your will will be done. Thank-you Jesus for all that you do, and for loving me without limit. I love you Jesus. Amen.

More Pictures

Pictures of my New Hat

*Cough*

I should really update on here more often. It turns out I'm really busy though, so I'll do what I can.

This weekend I went on a really cool retreat with my class, the Senior class, named the Fearless class, to a place called the Red River Gorge somewhere in Kentucky. I have no idea where it is because I didn't drive. It was an awesome trip and I had a lot of fun on it. We went hiking, swimming, camped in the rain, played lots of card games and just bonded with our friends that we would be together with for only one more year. Because we're seniors now it's all kind of bitter sweet. I hate that.

On Saturday night we went to bed at 2:00 AM. We got up to go on a hike to see the sunrise at 5:00 AM Sunday morning. Did I mention that it rained a lot while we were there too? Because of that basically everything was damp. When we hiked to the top of the mountain to see the sunrise we never actually saw it because the sky was overcast. I sound like I'm being really negative here, but I'm not, really. I actually had a really good time. It was like an adventure and I loved every minute of that trip.

Unfortunately though, I came back and got sick after not getting enough sleep and being damp and cold. So now I have three projects to prepare for this week and I'm not feeling good at all. It's only a mild cold with a cough that isn't that devastating, but I am completely exhausted, and I slept from 1:00 AM to 1:00 PM last night to today. I felt a lot better after sleeping that long, but I am now really exhausted again. Not sure when I'm going to get all this work done. I'm not really worried though, and that's awesome because I've been really stressed out up until this past weekend. I think that weekend was good for me in more ways than one. I know I'll get all my stuff done, I just have to take it one step at a time, and tonight's step is to get to bed early so I can recuperate and then get lots of work done tomorrow and Wednesday. I figure I'll be a lot more productive if I'm not exhausted and sick.

So that's where things are right now. Just continuing to put one foot in front of the other, no matter how bleak things may appear ahead. And something that helps for me to realize is that almost everyone I know is really stressed out and busy too, so I know I'm not alone in this. Even better than that, I know God is with me and He will help me through this. He wants me to succeed so I shouldn't be worried about it. I just gotta do my best and He'll get me through it.

Stacking Up

So I finished paying for this month for school. I'll hopefully be getting some financial aid soon too.

The semester looks like it's going to be a tough one. I have five classes and three of them are kind of like project classes. Here's my schedule.

Monday, Wednesday and Friday:

9:00- Understanding New Testament
10:00- chapel
11:00- Writing for Media
2:00- Multi-Camera TV Production

Tuesday, Thursday:

9-10:45-- Interactive Media I

12:45-2:00-- Western Classics


I'm a little worried about the work load. I know for most people five classes is not a lot, but I've been taking four classes a semester for three years and I've been used to working and going to school, so the dynamic has changed. But the other thing is that I have three media classes which are all project classes. I'll tell you a little bit about them.

Writing for media sounds a little hard, but I think I'll enjoy it. We have assignments like writing a 30 second commercial, writing a documentary, and writing a short script (I think thirty pages...) So it sounds fun, but also involved. I'm excited and worried. There's also a bunch of reading for the first couple of weeks.

Multi-Cam is a class where we basically put on a television show every week. We take turns running different jobs such as director, camera opp, and actually I'm not sure of all the rest... It's going to be fun but involved... The first few weeks also have a lot of reading. I'm excited but I'll have to budget my time.

Interactive Media is a media class that focuses on making computer projects and presentations. It's kind of the business side of media. We'll be doing projects with Power Point, Photo Shop, Acrobat and Dream weaver and doing presentations, shows and creating an 8-page website. I'm excited to learn all this stuff, but it's half learn in class, half teach yourself. It's going to be busy, and involved... Probably lots of work. I'm excited to learn all of this, but nervous it will contribute to an already heavy workload. He told us we read a lot in the first few weeks about dreamweaver.

On top of all of those there's also Western Classics in which we will read about eight books, but some or the Iliad which is an epic poem, and also a couple of plays. I think I can manage it all if I spend a lot of time reading everyday. I also have to make time to spend time with people while I'm at college because I feel that's very important. I'll do my best to balance everything. I don't feel that I will be lazy this semester, but I just may get overwhelmed. The good thing is that most of my classes are done by around 3 in the afternoon, so I have the afternoons open. I just have to make sure I don't get to bed too far passed mid-night so that I can be fully charged for each day.

I'm excited for this semester! I'm going to learn a lot and hopefully get more of an idea of what I want to do for a living. And I'll be experienced enough to start getting some freelance jobs and start paying for some things. I just gotta stick close to God and know that he'll get me through it all and then I don't need to worry.

Here are those pictures of my dorm I couldn't upload before.
This is my corner of the room--my work space, if you will. I like it. It's a little crowded because I still have to clean up and organize a bit, but I like it. And yes, those are cheez-its you see.

That's my new macbook pro, and my bed is the one on the bottom with the Sonic sheets! I really like my room :)
My hall is really awesome too! We have our first koinania tonight so I'm a little nervous, but I love the guys on my hall so it's gunna be beauty. In all of this, may God be glorified.

Sitting in a Dorm Room

I'm starving right now, and I'm really frustrated with my dad right now... But that doesn't matter right now.

I'm sitting in my newly set up dorm room, waiting for dinner at the caf so I don't have to pay any extra for food. My roommate Chachi just got here last night and so I was finally able to work with him on setting up our room. I've been living out of my duffle bags for a week because I've been waiting for my roommate to get here. I really like the set up we have now. Unfortunately my school network hates me and is not allowing me to upload photos. Maybe I'll be able to in the future when I go to a starbucks or something.

This past weekend I went on a retreat with all of the SLA's on campus. We are part of a ministry at school called "In Reach" so we had an In Reach retreat with all of the SLA's and SLC's. It was a really nice time; I go to really get to know a bunch of the other SLA's (there are about 40 of us) and the retreat was a really great way to escape from everything and rest and have quiet time with God. I felt really close to Him on the retreat. We also had some really funny, awesome times that I'll never forget. I can't wait to see how God works this semester and year after all He's done in our group already!

Right now I'm waiting for the semester to start up. We start classes tomorrow and I still have a bunch of stuff to figure out for school financially and stuff. Not fun, but hopefully after this week I'll have everything figured out.

Now I have to go, but I'll update again soon to explain how classes are going.

Good Tired

I'll tell ya, this week is craZy. With a capital Z!

I got to school (Asbury University) on Saturday night after a 12 hour drive. At the end of the drive I experienced some of the craziest weather I've ever seen! I'll describe it for you.

Picture a two lane highway with traffic lights every 500 yards. Now picture vans and SUVs and red lights blinking brighter and dimmer as breaks are applied. Add in some pouring rain. It's about 8:30, but it shouldn't be dark yet normally. The sky above and to your left is dark. Angry, gnarled storm clouds stretch out before you as far as you can see ahead, behind and to your left. Suddenly, you drive past some of the taller buildings on your right and now there is a bright orange sun glaring at you, the sphere peaking below the clouds as orange as sunkist. It looks like something out of a Spider-Man comic book. You want to look at it, or at least glance at the orange sky to your right, but every time you do you get a green sun spot over your vision.

Looking back at the road ahead of you a slash of lightning comes blistering through the sky, cutting it in 15 jagged directions in a second. Still, it's the longest lasting lightning you've ever seen, and the entire sky lights up. More lightning comes, and more still. Another jagged line shoots down to the ground and multiple spider webs of lightning come shooting out in several horizontal patterns from cloud to cloud. Lightning strikes again, and this time the never ending line comes right down in front of you and strikes a street lamp not 20 yards ahead of you. The entire grid dies and the lights go out. The sun is still shining brightly to your right, a bright orange ball hanging below the thunderclouds.

Glancing to your left to see if there's more lightning you spot something in the dark mass of clouds. Coming all the way down from the sky to the ground, from a point somewhere too high up to see in the clouds, comes a giant arch of a rainbow. With the backdrop of black and gray clouds the thing looks out of place, but beautiful, and adds even more to the entire scene in such a strange way.

That was how I ended my trip to school.

Here at school I've been training since Monday morning to be Spiritual Life Assistant (SLA) for Johnson Second East, the Wolf Pack, hall. I've been meeting with all of the other SLA's in training on campus and we've been seeking Christ to make sure we are in the right place to bring our halls together and inspire unity in Christ, and unity for the whole school. I'm pretty excited about this year and all that is to come. I'm making some new friends and getting to see some old ones that I've missed greatly. I'm also sad to note that some old friends are not coming back, but in this game of life I don't have time to stop and dwell on the casualties, only time to look to the future and plan for the upcoming battle. The battles will be great, but my LORD is greater still.

Some of the verses and passages we've been focusing on as we go deeper with the LORD and prepare our hearts for spiritual leadership are John Chapters 14-17, Philippians 2:1-3, Hebrews 13:7, Matthew 6:33, 1 Peter 2:9-12, and many others that I may think of later and post on here sometime.

I am being simultaneously encouraged and discouraged. I am encouraged by the new friends I am making and the obvious message I am getting from Jesus that He wants me here and I'm where I am supposed to be. I'm also encouraged by the moving of the Holy Spirit among us, and the things He is already teaching us.
I am discouraged by trying to figure out how to pay for this year of school. I am worried by my inability to figure things out in this area. I'm having trouble communicating with my Dad and getting him to help me figure out how to pay. I am also discouraged by some new temptations that the devil is throwing at me and his obvious assault on my person. I am discouraged too, by a lack of self-confidence and a feeling of worthlessness. I find myself putting myself down a lot lately and not thinking I'm adequate for anything. And this is not in a healthy way.

My LORD is greater than all, but I am at the foot of a large mountain right now and I'm not sure how to start climbing it. I am holding on to hope.

Onerie Crackerbagel

Well today was a crazy day, let me tell ya.

Yesterday I planned all day with my friends Stephen and Mitch (two of my best friends in the whole world) to go to Pennsylvania to visit good ol' David. We were planning to meet up around 5:30 after Mitch got off work. Stephen and Mitch were planning on coming to my house and then we would all three drive to Cabala's in PA to meet David and get some Taco Bell afterwards.

Now, since this was such an epic undertaking of friend escapades (definition: an act or incident involving excitement, daring, or adventure), under normal circumstances I would have been dancing on the walls like a yellow monkey with a sugar fetish. But since I got a macbook pro and Ipod touch the other day, I was actually enjoying messing around on those while I was waiting for Mitch and Stephen to come over. I also had some chores to do. I took the siblings to a piano lesson in the morning, and then got a spanish driving manual for Angie so she can get a drivers license. So the day actually went by pretty quickly! See that? I can be positive!

Well, 5:30 came and went and Stephen and Mitch still weren't at my house. It was right around 5, I think, that Stephen texted me saying that Mitch only just left. So they didn't actually get to my house until around 6 or so. But it wasn't too bad. We hung out getting drinks and a few last minute things for a little bit, and then we were on the road for an hour and a half drive to the center of PA.

Now the conversations on the way made the trip go by pretty quickly. What's a car ride to old friends except and excellent time to retell inside jokes, debate pointless things, and tell stories. On the way to Cabela's we talked about memorizing the Great Lakes. Mitch said a good way was to say "Super Man Helps Every One" for each of the lake names. Stephen thought he could come up with a better one, or perhaps was just joking. I wasn't even sure what they were talking about at the time. I was just trying to keep the car in the lane while I laughed hysterically at the whole thing. Stephen started saying, "Or you could just remember them by saying--Oneriorie Michigander, or michigander-erie-orie-huroner" It was something like that. Mitch started joining in with him and it just started becoming ridiculous very quickly.
After that, Stephen was talking about going to Cabela's and looking at the guns. He said he'd go to the guys at the counter (we didn't know that the guns would be on racks out in the open) and say, "Hey, um yes, I'd like to see a couple of guns-- all of them please." Or something like that. He talked about guns a lot. Apparently he's rather obsessed with them. I didn't even know that.

I can't remember all we talked about, but we saw some interesting sights on the way over as well. We saw a man driving a limo with slicked back gray hair and a thin mustache, and he was smoking a cigarette and he was surrounded by a cloud of smoke. I didn't get a good look at him. I was driving, remember? We also saw someone who Mitch said looked like some celebrity or something. I forget who it was...But it wasn't really them. Anyway, it was an eventful car ride.

When we finally got to Cabela's we had to wait for David a little bit because he wasn't there yet. Stephen was positive he'd seen a statue of a bear outside of Cabela's from the highway on one of his long drives. Because of that, he wanted to sort out an inner psychological identification he has with bears and projecting himself as bears and fighting himself as a bear or something. It was really just another inside joke. You probably had to be there. Anyway, we started exploring the perimeter of the building, trying to find this bear statue, and we soon came to three conclusions.
1) Cabela's is huge and looks sort of like a college campus on the side (at least, a community college or a NJ college).
2) We saw a rabbit that we decided was probably the smartest rabbit in the world. He was hiding out at a hunting and guns supplier. He probably figured if he lived here, all the hunters would go out into the forests and hunt the other animals, but none of them would ever come here to hunt this rabbit. He probably even scopes out all the new models of weapons and traps so he knows what they look like and how to avoid them.
3) The bear statues were not at this Cabela's. We got all around the building, and all we found was a magazine insert and some animal droppings that Stephen stepped in with his flip-flops.

We went into the store and started looking at all the dead animals stood up on display, and then we got a call from David saying he was here. He came in and met us at the mountain at the center of the building, and there were hugs all around! We spent a few more minutes there and then decided we all didn't want to be there anymore. I had to try to find some venison jerkey for a friend though, so Mitch and I went off to try to find some, searching in vain, and David and Stephen went and played with the guns.

After Mitch and I came back without any jerkey we joined David and Stephen in picking up guns and marveling at how awesome they were. Stephen wanted to make a gun library in his future house. I think this is a good idea.

After that we went to the crakerbagel for dinner. It wasn't as awesome as taco bell would have been, but the reuben sandwich I had was pretty good. The service could have been better, and we were all starving while we waited for a very long time for our food.

We went back to David's house after that and I discussed my college with Stephen, while David and Mitch drove home in David's car. When we got to the house we sat and talked for a bit, and then had a campfire. We soon had a hearty blaze, and went on to read some bad horror stories and ghost stories around the campfire while we made smores and burned sticks. The stories were awful, the chocolate was frozen, and the company was excellent.After the campfire and the pointless and embarrassingly crafted stories, we watched Jumanji and then went to bed.

If you've been paying attention, you'll probably notice that I haven't talked about today at all, but I'm just going to leave my introduction the way it is, because I'm lazy and it's funnier that way. If you want to hear about what happened today, you'll have to tune in next time!

"...and after you have done everything, to stand."

Were I a fellow with all the brights,
I would show you the sights from here to there,
All the stars light up the air,
The fare of which is right,
Though the rich don’t bite,
And the right just don’t seem to care.
But in this matter, little compares,
And the bright don’t try,
And the pyres don’t flare.
For in the clatter and the fright of all who bear such light
There is ne’er a fight that can stop the glare,
And though we try, the plight we share cannot stop the splatter
Of destroyed dreams that shatter while we despair.
The cold bite of death will tear our golden platter there.
But bear this fright, for in this matter, there is still something rare.
If we should fight through, we will see the ladder in the air,
And have but to climb with care, that we might see the better despite the clatter.

Final Days

Well, It's been a while, sports fans! For that I wish to apologize, but lately I haven't wanted to write much because I felt like I've been boring lately. Nonetheless, I must write something, so here goes!

Only about 13 days left till I go back to school! That's insane! I can't believe the summer is already almost over! *cliché, cliché, cliché, and so on, etc. I'm pretty ready to go back to school. I have a good semester of film classes lined up for the fall and I'm ready to delve into it with vigilance. I'm also ready to be living on my own again; well sort of.

I guess what I mean is, I'm ready to go back to college where I'm around people my age. My brothers always have people sleeping over our house who are very loud and they always have the Disney channel on, along with several video games all going at once, and I just want to go back to school where I'm working hard during the day, and hanging out with people at night.

But what have I been up to lately? Hmm...
Well last weekend was the first birthday for my twin cousins. They're probably going to change a lot by the time I see them again, because I don't know when that will be. That was an interesting event. Lots of people; and though it was about the twins, the entertainment and the fun was all for the adults. I was in the group of 4 young adults that hung out together because everyone else was either a lot older or a lot younger. And I'm not saying that to complain, because I had a lot of fun, but I wanted to point out the age demographic.

My Uncle's band played a lot of music during the event and that was really cool to see. They're very talented and it was cool to see them having fun doing that. My Uncle is really good at guitar.

That's my uncle on the left.

I hung out with my brother Daniel and his friends Derek and David most of the time. That ended up being a lot more fun than I would have guessed. I just don't hang out with them a lot so I didn't expect to have such a good time. We played volley ball with some of my cousins and my brothers Evan and Forrest, and that got us really hot because last weekend it was still in the 90s I think.

Later on we played three games of croquet and I ended up having a ton of fun playing that game. The ground was very uneven and unpredictable. The balls would go really far when you barely tapped them, and other times they would stop dead after giving them a stolid thwack. That just made it more fun though. I got really close to winning all three times, but we were all neck and neck at the end, and since we played that the ball was poison at the end, whoever didn't get knocked out was the winner. Needless to say, I got knocked out all three times, haha.

Well, since this is already really long, I'll save the other stuff I have to talk about for later. It's enough to say that I'm actually doing something, even though I'm not always writing on here, haha. Shocking isn't it? Bet you didn't think I had a life.

Phantasm

Lately I've been trying to watch some better movies. What I mean by better is, movies that are highly acclaimed, I suppose. I'm a media comm major, so along with that I've been trying to watch movies that have good writing, cinematography, directing and acting.

Recently I watched the movie I Heart Huckabees which had an interesting directing style, but I can't say I like it or recommend it. The subject matter probably fits the direction. It is based on varying beliefs of some of the main characters that are routed in new age beliefs of interconnection and meaning, whether there is, or isn't meaning. I feel like I could understand the movie better if I watched it again and analyzed it more, but I don't really want to.

I watched, for the second time, the new Alice in Wonderland directed by Tim Burton. I wasn't in the mood to watch a movie when Dad put it on, but after the first couple scenes, I remembered why I liked the move so much when I was sucked into it again. I really did enjoy that movie.

Push is another movie I just watched for the second time. I think this movie is highly under appreciated and unknown. It bears a unique directing style and an original plot. It's unpredictable as well; I recommend this one highly.

The last couple of nights I've watched V For Vendetta. This movie came out in 2005 but I only just saw it for the first time two days ago. Now it is one of my favorite movies. I love the directing and the messages of this movie. The soundtrack really gives it a punch. I highly recommend this movie as well.

Tonight, along with my comrades Mitch and David I went and saw the movie in theaters right now called Inception. It is simply brilliant. If you haven't seen it yet, this is a must see in theaters. The story, the acting, the directing and the music are all masterfully done, and I can't say that I've seen a better movie.

I am trying to watch a lot of movies. If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. I prefer to hang out with friends and be outside, but I also love a good movie, and for my major, I consider watching movies research. I'm trying to balance my time with healthy, productive things, spending time with friends and family, and also with movie watching.

Wandering about aimlessly (Days 17-19)

I've been semi avoiding updating because I haven't wanted to talk about certain things. On the other hand, I haven't had all that interesting subject material to talk about either. so everything was either unmentionable or not worth mentioning. Funny how that works.

Regardless, I think I'll just start talking randomly about what's been going on lately, since I'm neither in the mood to try hard, nor do I have the energy to care. Wow, I bet you feel loved now. Honestly, I do want to write on here, and I do want you to have something interesting to read, I'm just really tired right now. And part of the reason I haven't been posting is because I didn't want to bore you.

But on to business!

Unfortunately a friend of mine died last week. I hadn't seen him for quite some time so the shock of it was slow in coming and I wasn't fully prepared for how much it would effect me. Needless to say, it has been devastating. What's more, my friend Michael Blain Bovill left behind three younger sisters and his two parents, as well as very many close friends. Part of how bad I feel is tied in with how bad I feel for his friends and family. Being in the position I am in, I've been conflicted; let me explain.

I've hung out with Michael quite a few times in this life, and I always got along with him and liked him a lot. We might have even been really close friends, too, if it hadn't been for the fact that he is two years older than me and the amount of times I saw him were inconsistent and sometimes few and far between. Because of all of this, when I found out that he had died I was shocked, but unsure how to take it. I felt completely miserable right away for his sisters (one of whom I am rather close with--or at least, I was rather close with), and shortly after that I felt terrible for his friends.

When it came to deciding whether I should go to the viewing and the funeral, I was hesitant and saddened, because I wanted to be there, but I didn't feel like it was my place. I figured it would be an intimate family occasion and that I didn't have the right to be there. Thus, because of that, I had originally assumed I wouldn't be at either of them.

Soon after that I really wanted at least to go to the viewing when I found that it was public and all were welcome. First and foremost I wanted to go for his family and friends though, because I was still thinking of them in all of this. Part of my reasoning in that was that he's in heaven now and perfectly fine and happy. All has gone according to God's plan, so why should I worry about Michael.

At the last minute I decided I wanted to go the funeral, finally realizing that I'd been a fool. How could I forget Michael in all of this? Wouldn't I have welcomed him gladly to my funeral had it been the other way around? And at that very same moment it struck me; I suddenly realized how much he himself had meant to me. At the funeral...well, that's the most I've cried in sorrow in a very, very long time. I had convinced myself that I am not capable of crying in that way. But I was impacted by how much I miss him, and how much I wish I could really be there for his family and friends. The weight of all of this is falling on me; falling on me hard. It kills me that I was not closer to him in this life, and also that I cannot likewise be there for anyone in this time of sorrow. I am completely helpless to make them feel better. Perhaps it is not my job to worry in this way, and perhaps it is not my job to fix things; but by God, how I wish I could. I can't stop caring.

But I know that in all this, in Michael's death, in the family's sorrow, in my separation from it all, and in my inability to do anything, God's will has been done, and His hand is at work even now.

Finally, I keep repeating a quote to myself that I just heard from one Eric Liddell who was once an Olympic gold medalist and missionary of China. He worked and lived in China around the time of the second world war, and felt he should stay when the Japanese invaded, sending his family (pregnant wife and two daughters) away for safety.

When he saw his wife for the last time in this life he said,






















"Those who love God never meet for the last time.........”

The Cuckoo Bird Is In The Banana Tree (Days 12-16)

I'm so behind and have so many things to talk about that I don't know what to write about first. I guess that's a good thing. Anyway, let's browse through the pictures to see what I've been doing lately....

Ah yes, now I remember. Last Thursday we had the skate park because it was no longer raining out, and the kids were eager to skate because a lot of them just got back from trips and vacations, and Wednesday we had no skate park because of the rain. Here are some pictures from Thursday.
So that was a most excellent (most hot) occasion.

Friday David was coming over, so I cleaned my room up and prepared for a sleep over of epic proportions and caliber. He came a little later than expected because of an incident involving some extra spicy nachos from a gas station. Ooo, not pretty.

Anyway, when he got here, we excitedly embarked on an exploratory mission in to the pine forest near my house. We ended up exploring to see what else there was back there, but didn't find much more than spider webs and really hot weather. We had fun, but were out there for at least an hour and came back to the house looking for some down time.

What we did at that time has completely escaped me. The little rascal is hiding in the bushes somewhere, but I can't seem to see him. Well, no matter. What happened later is of greater consequence.

As daylight started fading and summer heat began to diminish, we again set out. This time, after we'd gotten some taco bell I believe, we went to the area behind Spruce Run where no one usually goes. We followed the paths past the pond I found on one of my adventures and went deeper into the glades. It was fun having someone along with me this time. We tried to explore this really nice area with trees and fields, but it's private land apparently. We were rather disappointed, and I still really want to know what that place is. There was some sort of building back there, and cars drove up to it while we were back there. I'm thinking binoculars and much more exploring is in order for the future.

When we had given up on that area we went deep into the glades to see if we could get to the main lake of Spruce Run. Eventually the glades came to an end and we found a path going into the woods. We could see a large body of water through the trees and I was sure it was the lake, but we had to get through somehow. We continued to follow the path to a little clearing that looked like it would be great for camping, and lingered there for a couple minutes. Soon we found that the path continued past the clearing towards the lake. We followed the path and came to a small sort of beach line, complete with trees hanging down over the water, really clean water, amazing views and an awesome sun set.Soon we had to get going because we were running out of daylight and we were tired and covered in ticks. While we were standing there we kept finding them on our clothes. On the way back we got to see even more amazing sights of sunset.
That was it for our exploring that day. We were exhausted, so we went back to the house and watched the movie Push which is very original and very well written. If you haven't seen it, it's one of those less popular gems that not many people know about it, but it's definitely worth it. It's sort of like a superhero or graphic novel movie, but so much more.

When that was done we wasted some time and then had to go pick up some friends from New York who had just arrived in Clinton at the bus stop. It was great that David was sleeping over this weekend because it ended up being an even more epic sleepover than we had originally planned. In total there were 15 people at our house this weekend. I'll walk you through it. Our family is 8- That's Dad and Angie, me, Daniel, Evan, Forrest, Grace and Daisy. After that there were Evan's friends Josh and Ben, and Forrest's friend Richard. That makes 11. Then we had our friends from NY: Sumi, Natasha and William. That's 14. Finally there was David, my friend, to make a total of 15 people staying out our house this weekend.

So it was like a math problem trying to figure out where everyone would stay and sleep. Our house is big (three stories with three bathrooms and five bedrooms), but it was still hard to find a place for everyone. Here's how it worked out. Evan, Josh and Ben were on the third floor (which we call the attic, but it's more like a second living room--stairway, 34 inch TV, carpets, games, etcetera), Forrest and Richard stayed in Evan and Forrest's room; Daisy and Grace were in their room; Dad and Angie were in their own room; David and I stayed in my room and finally Sumi, Natasha and William stayed in the living room on the couches; not my first choice for two women over the age of 18, but what could we do? Still, they're good sports and were fine with it.

Saturday was hot, so David and I hung around the house and played some Worms (the video game) and watched some youtube stuff and listened to music until it wasn't so hot out. Dad, Angie, Sumi, William, Grace and Daisy went to a rodeo in south Jersey. I know, weird right? I didn't know they had those in NJ. South Jersey is like a different state, I'm tellin' ya.

Later in the day David and I wanted to go exploring again, but this time we brought Natasha and Evan along. This is getting a little lengthy so I'll tone down the narrative and show mostly pictures.

We went to Hoffman Park, which is right down the road, but is really pretty. There's a rail line that goes right by it, and then the park it self is filled with over 500 ponds, some really pretty bird watching fields, and other interesting things. We saw some cool stuff. Here are some pictures:








We found an abandoned barn thing and also a house that we didn't have time to explore, so we're going to go back sometime. Overall though, we got to see a lot there, and we were there for at least an hour, if not two. At the end, when we got back to the house, we were all thoroughly exhausted. David had to go home and I just vegged in front of the tv or my computer because I was too tired to do anything.

Sunday I went to church with the whole family, along with Sumi, Natasha and William, and later ran the skate park again. At the beginning it seemed that it would be too hot for a good day, but soon we had a lot of new arrivals to the skate park and it ended up being great. I was also really excited to see my friend Chris who I haven't seen since December! I got to meet his girl friend for the first time, and hopefully I'll be hanging out with Chris again soon!

In the midst of all of this weekend craziness I realized that I have less than a month till I go back to school at Asbury. To be completely honest I didn't realize how short a time I have left, but it makes me really excited! I will miss having free time and hanging out with David, but I am eager to go back to school so I can really sink my teeth into my major! Plus, I love living away from home, I love Kentucky, and I love all my friends at Asbury! I can't wait to go back; but on the other hand, I can't wait to see all of the adventures the rest of this summer holds!